Friday, February 29, 2008

photogenic, isn't she?

Thursday, February 28, 2008

i am so excited. i just found out today i share the exact same ambitions as my idol tony leung.

Wong Kar Wai: Have you thought about what you'd do if you weren't an actor? What would be your ambition?

Tony Leung: Nothingness. I would most likely be engaged in nothingness. A state of nothingness and play!

WKW: If you must choose a profession, what would be your choice?

TL: [long pause] I'd still consider nothingness.

Excerpt from:
Interview, Sept, 2005, Wong Kar Wai

i think my love for him just grew.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

an apple a day keeps nightmares at bay

the studying of too many discourses in school is taking a toll on me.

the other day i had this dream. it was full of shit, like, literally.

in the dream, everyone was constipated. the capitalists had seized all control of vegetables and fruits, and then marketed them as a costly antidote to a widespread problem. it was their way of controlling the masses. constipation makes you miserable but you can still work.

it was a nightmare.

all i can say is, eat more veggies and fruits while they are still cheap.

you are my cockroach

what is god's all-time favourite creature?
ans: the cockroach.

it's the only creature that's survived through age..cyclones..and everything in between from 300 million years ago.

i tell you, after the whole bout of global warming blows over the only thing that's going to be left behind is a cockroach.

what other organism can boast of having eaten everything from dinosaur carcasses to curry-favoured twisties?

so next time you want to let someone know she is as precious to you as god's favourite creature is to Him, send her a cockroach. flowers are SO passé.

Monday, February 25, 2008


have you ever wondered how eating a clump of fur would feel like?

there's no need to wonder anymore.

this is how it looks like, at least.

(and i can assure you, they taste like fur more than they look.)

these furballs are supposedly a kind of mushroom. why, i would have been overjoyed to be this particular specie, if i were a mushroom. i would have thought that i was safe, because no one likes having fur in their mouths, except for lions and other meat-eating carnivores. and that's cause they don't have a choice; it's not everyday that you manage to hunt down some humans. they cheat. some of them even have guns. it's tough to be a lion nowadays.

next time a kid asks you which animal is the king of the jungle, say: the lion, but not anymore. every other animal moved out of the jungle cause they didn't want to be associated with a king who doubles up as the mascot of a courtesty campaign and has a tail where his legs should be.

no wonder lions always roar and look furious.

speaking of lions, doesn't the mushroom look just like the mane of a lion?

nus students have good grammar!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

no wonder they said fairy tales were dark.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

don't 'bat' an eyelid

i'm pretty certain i was a bat in my previous life. here's how i came to this depressing conclusion:

1. i only feel sleepy with the lights on/ i have problems falling asleep at night.

2. i am 3.5 times more efficient at night than in the day.

3. having reborn into this life without wings or an ability to suck blood, my subconscious desires see me doing a 12,000 word thesis on sanitary pads.

4. i hate sun (having been brown/black the whole of my past life, i strive to remain white as i can this time round).

5. i'm blind (as a bat) when it comes to men i date.

6. i suffer from identity crisis all the time; am i a mouse or bird or wad?

arrrrghhhh.... while others boast of being king arthur or buddha's reincarnation, i was a friggin' bat.

"dui shen"

it hit me one day that everyone should be learning a revamped pronunciation of "tuition", especially the aunties paying for it.

singlish pronunciation: tiew shien
revamped pronunciation: dui2 shen4

here's why:
if you spend a lot of $$ on tuition for your kid and he doesn't do well, you feel damn dui2 (hokkien term) and when that happens, you get freaking stressed and that in turn affects your shen4 (kidney).

there you go.
everyone, repeat after me- dui2 shen4!